When Our Bias Blinds Us: Bilam, Balak, and the Danger of Seeing Only What We Want

In this weeks Parsha, Bilam, a prophet for hire, is invited by King Balak to curse Bnei Yisrael. Hashem clearly says: “Do not go with them. Do not curse the people, for they are blessed” (Bamidbar 22:12). But Bilam won’t accept “no.” He asks again, and Hashem permits him to go, but only to speak His words. Bilam hears permission, not warning. Blinded by ego and reward, he sets out. When his donkey sees an angel and stops, Bilam beats it, three times, until the donkey speaks. And instead of being stunned, Bilam argues back giving us a textbook example of confirmation bias, even a talking donkey can’t make you question your choices.

Confirmation bias is a cognitive bias where people favor information that confirms their existing beliefs or values. People tend to seek, interpret, remember, and prioritize evidence supporting their views, while disregarding contradictory information. Confirmation bias is one example of how humans sometimes process information in an illogical, biased manner. Confirmation biases affect not only how we gather information but also how we interpret and recall it. For example, people who support or oppose a particular issue will not only seek information to support it, but they will also interpret news stories in a way that upholds their existing ideas. They will also remember details in a way that reinforces these attitudes.

Albert Einstein is often credited with saying, “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” In the case of Bilam, even supernatural signs couldn't reach him, because he wasn’t looking to be reached. His eyes were open, but only to what he already believed. The Torah records this strange, nearly comedic episode not just for drama, but for warning. Bilam is not stupid. He’s deeply intelligent, even spiritually gifted. But his hatred and his desire to curse Bnei Yisrael override all logic. According to the Midrash Tanchuma, Bilam's hatred of the Jews is even deeper than Balak's. He’s not new to this, it goes back to his time in Egypt as one of Pharaoh’s advisors who recommended enslaving the Jews. His persistence here isn't about prophecy; it's about obsession. He’s not wrestling with Hashem’s will, he’s hoping to outmaneuver it.

The Sforno notes that Bilam was hoping for a loophole, an opening to justify what he already wanted. The Malbim points out that Bilam keeps looking for a “spiritually weak spot” in Israel, as if changing location might change Hashem’s mind.

The Meshech Chochmah frames Bilam’s entire experience as a model of cognitive dissonance. Despite seeing Hashem’s power, hearing divine messages, he never lets go of his internal corruption. Rabbeinu Bachya, commenting on the speaking donkey, marvels at Bilam’s lack of shock. A prophet, unmoved by a miracle, shows just how far a person can sink when their agenda becomes their truth.

We like to believe that we’d never be so blind. But we all do this. We seek information that validates our beliefs. We tune out data that challenges our worldview. Psychologically, this is efficient. It helps us feel safe, coherent, and in control. But spiritually and emotionally, it’s dangerous. When you’re so sure you’re right, you lose the humility that keeps you human.

Three tips to avoid becoming Bilam and falling prey to confirmation bias:

1. Pause when you're too sure. If you feel absolutely right, especially when it serves your pride, your grudge, or your agenda then that’s the moment to ask: What am I not seeing? Who might I be ignoring?

2. Listen to the donkeys in your life. They’re the people or moments that block your path or challenge your assumptions. They might feel annoying. But what if they’re there to redirect you, not obstruct you?

3. Revisit your beliefs, not just your evidence. It’s easy to reframe facts. Harder to reframe ourselves. Practice noticing when you're justifying something instead of exploring it. Ask: Is this actually true, or just what I want to be true?

Bilam’s story is tragic not because he lacked knowledge, but because he lacked introspection. Hashem tried to reach him with clear words, miraculous events, even a talking animal. None of it worked, because Bilam never questioned his own lens. And perhaps that’s why this episode is recorded in such rich detail, because Bnei Yisrael didn’t witness it. It wasn’t for them. It was for us. Confirmation bias doesn't just distort what we see, it blinds us to what we need to change. The more certain we are, the less truth we're willing to let in. Bilam stands as a cautionary figure for all of us who ever wanted something so badly that we stopped listening, stopped seeing, stopped feeling. May we learn to notice the angels on our path, hear the unexpected voices, and never be so sure we’re right that we stop asking if we might be wrong.