Shalom Bayit: Petty? Maybe

But even petty things add up to an unanticipated flood of emotions!

Imagine this wild scenario: a man gets rear-ended on a quiet street. He steps out, inspecting the damage, a mere scratch on his bumper. The driver, a nervous figure, confesses, "I’m an illegal immigrant with no insurance. Let’s just drive off." Shrugging it off, they do. But a minute later, bam! He’s rear-ended again. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he spots the same driver, sheepishly motioning, "It’s me again. Let’s drive off!" Absurd, right? Yet, this odd tale mirrors something surprisingly common in marriage.

Picture this: you ask your wife, "Have you called my grandma to wish her Shabbat Shalom?" She replies, "No, I’m sorry," with a sheepish smile. It’s a small thing, so you bite your tongue, craving peace. This dance repeats, missed calls, forgotten tasks, each time brushed aside as petty. Months pass, and suddenly she suggests, "Let’s spend the holidays with my family." Your sarcasm erupts, "Family is suddenly important?" The floodgates open, emotions spilling over from those tiny, ignored scratches.

In the story of Noah (נח), people stole petty items, letting small sins pile up until a flood washed it all away. Similarly, those unaddressed grievances in your marriage, however minor, can build into a deluge. You’ve brought it up a few times, a clear sign it stings. Keeping peace is noble, but true shalom bayit demands addressing even the smallest bothers. Open that conversation before the flood overtakes you!