Shalom Bayit: 🍋 A Sukkot Special

Your phone lights up with a call from your mom. “Charlie, my sweet boy,” she says, her voice tinged with longing. “The holidays are coming, and I’m feeling so lonely. Remember when you were little? I cooked your favorite meals, fed you, burped you, changed your diapers... I hate to impose, but your wife, she’s never warmed to me for some reason. Could I join you for the holidays?”

You pause, heart sinking. Asking your wife will likely lead to a firm “no.” But bypassing her? That’s a recipe for a storm at home. The Torah’s wisdom echoes in your mind: in Ha’azinu, God commands obedience as your Father. Doesn’t that same principle apply to honoring your mother? Thankfully, the Torah offers clarity. You must respect your mother, but you are to cling to your wife. Respect can be shown from a distance, clinging requires closeness, intimacy, partnership.

So, your wife’s approval is key, but it’s not a simple yes or no. What if your mom stayed nearby, perhaps at a hotel or with a relative, and joined you for a few special holiday meals? Maybe she could bring her famous brisket or help with the cooking, easing the load. The more you involve your wife in the decision, the more secure she’ll feel, paving the way for true Shalom Bayit, peace and harmony in your home. By balancing respect for your mom with devotion to your wife, you create a holiday filled with connection, not conflict.