The Ramban Rewind: The Trap of ‘De-Satiation’

And it will be, when he  hears the words of this oath, that he will bless himself in his heart, saying, "I will have peace, even if I follow my heart's desires," he ends up adding the quenched to the thirsty.

Parshat Netzavim opens with the famous story of the blessings and curses for those who follow their desires and throw off the yoke of the Torah way of life. Moshe ends his speech by speaking directly to the typical rationalizer. He addresses the person who thinks these curses will not apply to him because he does not see the danger in following seemingly innocent fleeting urges. In his rationalization, he literally “blesses himself” while ignoring Moshe's blessing.

Reversing the Natural Order

The consequence of not taking these words seriously? Moshe introduces puzzling imagery: by ignoring his words and chasing anti-Torah desires, it is as if one is סְפוֹת הָרָוָה אֶת־הַצְּמֵאָה - “adding the quenched to the thirsty.”

What does that mean? Ramban explains: the “thirsty” are lacking, always searching for relief. The “quenched” are satisfied, at rest, with no need for more. When a person gives license to desire, he reverses course. He undoes the relative satisfaction he already had. Simply put, he takes something quenched and makes it thirsty.

Don’t Fall for the Trap

This lesson is fundamental. If taken seriously, it could prevent much of the pain that comes with self-indulgent behaviors that leave us emotionally depleted. Emptiness, depression, and the constant gnawing of unfulfillment are all potential symptoms that can potentially be avoided with some forethought.

Although overcoming unhealthy desires requires tremendous willpower, confronting them early on makes the struggle far easier.

We all have had those moments where we rationalize and justify giving in to our impulsive

urges for momentary pleasures, thinking they are harmless. In doing so we fall into an ironic trap. We are left with more lack than before. Someone who had some measure of fullness backtracks into a deeper pit of craving.Acting mindlessly on desire doesn’t leave us where we started. It leaves us worse off; dissatisfied, thirstier, and more restless.

This is what I call the “Trap of De-Satiation.”

The Yetzer Hara’s Endless Hunger

Ramban’s insight reveals Moshe’s truth on a deeper level, one that can save us from real pain. Everyone has vices and temptations, and taking an honest look at the Los Angeles community, we don’t have a shortage of them either.

Indulging in another bite, another puff, one more juicy story about the neighbor, one more scroll, just another glance, the common denominator? It is never enough! Each time, we slip from a higher state of satiation to a lower state of lack. We end emptier than before.

The so-called fix only leaves behind a stronger urge, now demanding to be filled in a newer and more novel way. This is the breeding ground of negative patterns and where the shadows of negative emotions and unfulfillment begin to settle.

To summarize the idea, Ramban cites the famous statement of Rav Yochanan in Tractate Sukkah: “the more you try to satiate your yetzer hara, the hungrier it gets”.

Staying Satiated

Reading this short article is surely not going to solve the pain. To be very candid, I can say in my own life, sometimes even when I know that I shouldn’t, I still fall for the trap, the Yetzer Hara eventually gets its way.

Yes, healthy boundaries help. Learning about the destructive effects of certain desires makes it easier. And you can never go wrong praying to God for self-control. But in the heat of the moment just saying “NO” relies on sheer willpower, and that is rarely enough for the strongest of urges.

At the end of the day, even after realizing the potential damage, the itch is still there. The deeper desires do not disappear. Our body or soul still feels lack, and that lack is often there for an underlying unspoken reason. Jewish wisdom and modern research teach that the ultimate answer is not suppression but redirection. Constant stubborn desires that don’t go away must be channeled into productive outlets.

For me, speaking with a trustworthy therapist, a wise rabbi, or a seasoned mentor has been the best way to explore new paths for channeling my potentially unhealthy wants. The hack is to find a productive outlet for that thirst that never goes away.

One hard truth has become clear to me: when the outlet is cheap, fast, and self-centered, it is almost always a trap that leaves me feeling less blessed and less whole. But when I face the itch with patience and curiosity, something shifts. By refusing to let cravings run the show yet still giving them a voice, I allow them to audition for a place in my greater mission. In that space, they can be transformed into the lead role in a story of lasting pleasure, far deeper than any fleeting thrill that would have left me even more ‘De-Satiated’.