Farbreng With The Kosher Gang: An Epic Adventure

From Yosemite’s peaks to LA’s plates, the gang found the ultimate high point on Pico. With special guests Mendel Geisinsky and Michel Rapaport.

Farbreng Gang! Get ready for our most epic episode ever! This week I’m joined by my good friends, Mendel Geisinsky and Michel Rapaport.

Both of them popped back into California to join me on an epic adventure from LA to Reno, to Tahoe, then Mammoth, finishing off in Yosemite, and then returning back to LA where we enjoyed what was possibly the best kosher meal I’ve ever had.

First things first, if we’re going on an adventure, we’re going to need to stock up on the essentials. Luckily, the good folks at Mega Glatt Mart in Reseda had everything I needed: snacks, steaks, sandwich materials, and a couple of surprises…

Of course, I had to make the trip a little more interesting, so I implemented a challenge: we can only eat food from Mega Glatt Mart, OR we need to complete a series of challenges to unlock specialty items.

What the bochurs don’t know is that I’m keeping score of every unlock, and the more they get, the higher the level of restaurant I’m going to take them to when we get back!

So let’s not waste any time. First stop: Reno to pick up the boys!

I picked the boys up at the Chabad of Reno, davened a quick Shacharit, then we tackled our first set of challenges.

Mendel! Why are you doing pushups?

“Because I want a Celsius, bruh.”

Right, one easy way to unlock a specialty item? 100 pushups.

Mendel and I took that on right away because the energy was seriously needed.

Michel, you feeling like a Celsius?

“I’m good on the pushups right this second.”

Haha okay, well we have another challenge we can unlock right now. If we each give $18 of tzedakah, Hashpaa, LA’s new Jewish media agency, will send a bag of quick foods like protein bars and PB&J supplies to help us along the way. What do you say, boys?

“Done!”

Lol, okay well that was easy!

Next, for each snack we review, we can bank half an unlock. All the unlocks are bankable, by the way, so we can stack them as much as we want.

So we cracked into some cholov yisroel chocolates!

Mendel, how’s that Elite Black & White bar?

“The readers know I love chocolate if they read the Ice Cream edition, and this is next level… 93 out of 100!”

Wow! Big score! Michel, how is that Pesek Man?

“Classic, fully loaded, shout out to Mega Glatt Mart; this is a 9.2 easily. It’s fresh and that’s all that matters.”

Another great score!

I’ve personally never had a KifKaf. I’ve had a KitKat, and if you’ve never had a KitKat you have had a KifKaf. Let me tell you: you’ve had a KitKat. I’ll say 90 out of 100 on the chocolate scale, super solid.

Next Stop: Lake Tahoe

On the way, here’s how else we can unlock items: if you finish Chitas before sunset, if you wrap tefillin on a stranger, and if you get that person to do a second mitzvah like give tzedakah, that’s 2 unlocks! And here’s another monkey wrench: I got us a pack of Jeff’s Italian sausages for dinner tonight, but since they didn’t come from Mega Glatt Mart we each need at least 2 unlocks to claim them!

We spent all afternoon at Lake Tahoe. Michel must’ve asked 50 people if they wrapped tefillin today. To our shock, not a single one was Jewish!

We enjoyed some really good trail mix from Mega Glatt Mart and some PB&J, but by the time we made it to Mammoth that night we were properly starving.

We headed to Minaret Vista, broke out our portable grill, and cooked up a feast under the stars. Now, I cannot lie, it was freezing up there even in August. It was below 40, but we didn’t mind because, luckily, between snack reviews, Torah learning, and pushups, we all earned the Jeff’s Italian sausages. So we had burgers and dogs, and salmon skewers. Mega Glatt Mart held it down for all the essentials. And here’s where things got even more interesting.

Suddenly, I get a phone call. It’s 11 pm, and LA Jewish Home Editor-in-Chief, David Rogatsky, is calling me.

David R! What’s up?

“Hey guys! I hope the trip is going well. I’m really rooting for you guys to unlock all your challenges, but I wanted to throw in one more twist. If you can make a minyan anytime between now and when you leave Yosemite tomorrow, The LA Jewish Home will throw in $100 gas money.”

Say less, Dave. Miraculously, as we’re checking into our hotel at Mammoth, a man approaches us and says, “You guys just missed Maariv!”

We’re genuinely shocked. True hashgacha pratis playing out in real time. He tells us that they’re a camp from LA and that they’re one man short for Shacharit in the morning. By 9:30 am, we had davened with a minyan and secured that $100!

After another 200 pushups we all cracked open a Celsius and hit the road to Yosemite. What the bochurs don’t realize is they already unlocked enough points collectively to earn the highest-level restaurant reward, but I still had a few tricks up my sleeve.

Guys, I got us minute steaks for dinner tonight, but whoever has the most unlocks by sundown is eating a ribeye.

“Oh that’s so mine! I’ll do 1000 pushups, I don’t care.”

Lol okay Mendel, then it might actually be yours. Michel, what do you have to say to that?

“We’ll see how many mitzvahs I can get done in Yosemite, then let’s talk.”

Spoiler alert: we struck out hard on wrapping tefillin again in Yosemite. We met a few Jews but they had already wrapped!

For my part, I tried grinding Chitas on the trail but we were going hard, clocking in 30K+ steps in under 8 hours, and I couldn’t get it all done before sunset.

We each reviewed some more snacks, feasted on trail mix, and made some turkey sandwiches, all from the Mega Glatt Mart haul, but we were in a deadlocked tie with 3 unlocks each on our way out of Yosemite.

What happened next was rather unfortunate. We got to our hotel in Fresno at 10 pm, so looking forward to taking a shower and eating dinner, but the hotel double-booked us, leaving us with one bed for the 3 of us.

So needless to say, we ended up having to cancel our reservation, skip dinner, and drive back to LA through the night, polishing off the rest of our snacks and trail mix in the process.

I must say: Israeli Oreos are infinitely better than American Oreos. While the American ones taste like pure sugar bombs, the Israeli version tastes like real shortbread cookies with cream filling. It’s a night and day difference.

When we arrived home at 3 am none of us felt like grilling, so I bowed out of the final challenge and gave the boys the steaks, which they grilled the next night. I’m told they decided to split the ribeye instead of pushup battling it out.

Before bed, I revealed the hidden challenge: Boys, this whole time I’ve been keeping track of your unlocks. I really wasn’t sure how many we’d get, and I told myself if you collectively had 10 I would take you to the fanciest restaurant in town. Not only did you have 10 by night 1, we finished collectively with over 20! Michel must’ve asked 200 people to wrap tefillin in 2 days.

“No way!! This is crazy.”

Yes way, Michel, yes way!

We’re going out for dinner tomorrow night, to celebrate all the hard work you guys put in!

So get some rest, and I’ll see you guys at Mr. Shiloh’s!

The Best Meal I’ve Had in 5 Years

I started keeping kosher in 2020. Since then I’ve had a blast finding and recreating my favorite culinary experiences in a kosher way. It’s been years of amazing meals and dining experiences, but Mr. Shiloh’s, located at 8939 W Pico Blvd, gave me the best kosher meal of my life thus far.

The boys and I got suited up for the occasion. Looking dapper as ever, we were ready for a culinary journey to match the physical one we’d just come back from!

Mendel, how are we feeling tonight?

“I was grinding those pushups! Now I’m ready to eat!”

You were grinding those pushups, I cannot lie.

Michel, what are your thoughts ahead of this crazy meal?

“There’s playing to play and then there’s playing to win. We played to win! We’re just too good at the game. We made a minyan in Mammoth Lakes, dude, like what are the odds of that?!”

Yeah, that was clearly a straight-up bracha from above!

They started us off with 4 cocktails, but since the bochurs are underage I was forced to take one for the team, and for the sake of the Farbreng gang, I tried them all.

The Mojito was super refreshing. The frozen strawberry daiquiri was classic and transported me to a tropical beach and back. The Margarita was my favorite, but it was not weak by any means. Lastly, the Piña Colada hit all the right notes and was done to perfection.

Shortly after my cocktail crawl, they brought us our first of 7 courses: the fish appetizers.

Ahi tuna ceviche, sushi, fish tacos, and harvest salad that knocked my socks off quickly covered the table.

Wow, that ceviche was insane! Fresh tasting with a lime punch. I loved it.

“I’m not a fan of tomatoes but I might be after this.”

Okay Mendel! That’s some high praise!

After days of eating trail mix and Bissli, this is an unmatched experience.

I’m a big fish taco guy and these were soft, light, and exploding with taste! Michel, how do you like them?

“It’s insane!”

Agreed, it really is. I’m not even a salad guy, but the harvest salad — with sweet potatoes, nuts, dates, and all that other goodness — is something I would come back for on its own.

“It tastes like exactly where I am.”

You mean it tastes fancy, Mich?

“It tastes very fancy.”

Next up they brought us the meat appetizers: pulled beef sliders, beef bacon flatbread, and carpaccio.

The bochurs were not into the raw meat, but I polished off that carpaccio without hesitation!

The bacon flatbread was delicious and big enough for everyone to have seconds and thirds!

“Out of this world! The logo is burned into the slider buns!”

Mendel is clearly enjoying himself. Lol.

Once we cleared all our plates, the empties were quickly replaced by a 22-day dry-aged ribeye steak with a hot stone for searing, a mushroom truffle risotto, and a mountain of beef fry.

Truffles are an acquired taste, one that the bochurim have yet to acquire. So I, again, shamelessly smashed that risotto! It was shamayim in my mouth and my taste buds were dancing the hora.

The steak melts in your mouth like margarine — because butter wouldn’t be kosher. Mendel, how are you feeling now?

“BH! I feel like a king! The ribeye we cooked last night is nothing compared to this!”

We are kings! Sons of the King! The King of Kings! BH!

Michel, what are your thoughts?

“This is crazy. It’s not just a meal, it’s a full experience!”

We were already stuffed. We thought we were done. Then they brought out another 2 steaks!

A Delmonico and a filet mignon!

Let me tell you, they were both incredible. It didn’t matter how full we were — we polished them off in mere minutes!

“The steak is incredible, and also these potatoes are the best I’ve ever had.”

Dang Mendel, you really love potatoes. We just ate our entire body weight in food and you’re still going! Thank goodness you aren’t Irish, you would’ve single-handedly caused the potato famine.

“I’m low-key Idahoan.”

Lol that’s crazy.

Michel, how are you feeling over there?

“If you come to LA and you don’t come here, you’re missing out!”

That’s facts, Mich!

“It’s the taste of Atzilus!”

I couldn’t agree more, Mendel!

Finally, they brought us dessert — the swan song. Five freshly fried churros with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. They were light, crispy, and airy just like they should be.

A chocolate lava cake, done to perfection, oozed chocolatey goodness that flowed right into the best pareve vanilla ice cream I’ve ever had.

Lastly, a crème brûlée, again an acquired taste, which the bochurs haven’t yet achieved. Despite being so full I was in physical pain, I finished it off happily.

Now let’s get to the scores.

Michel, what are you rating this heavenly experience?

“It’s a detailed experience from the appetizers straight through to dessert. This was a road trip through food, just like we just took through the mountains. I think we’re going to go with a 98.8. It was phenomenal.”

Wow! That’s an incredible score! Mendel?

“There’s so much to say, I can’t even talk about it all. If you give me permission, David, can I give this a 101 out of 100?”

You’re breaking the glass ceiling of food reviews? Okay, I’ll allow it.

“101 out of 100. Mr. Shiloh’s deserves that.”

Wow! This is Kosher Gang history in the making!

The readers know what my highest score has been throughout this whole series, but Mr. Shiloh’s is on a different planet. This has been the best kosher meal I’ve ever had. The best meal I’ve had in 5 years. I vowed to never give a 100 because we always gotta leave room to improve, but… Mr. Shiloh’s is getting a 99.2 out of 100. It’s as close to perfection as it gets.

And just like that… Mr. Shiloh’s is officially my highest-reviewed restaurant ever.

Mr. Shiloh’s

@MichelRapaport Guest Score: 98.8 out of 100

@MendelGeisinsky Guest Score: 101 out of 100

@WeWantMoshiachNow Official Score: 99.2 out of 100

Well, that was truly an adventure of epic proportions. The road trip was incredible; stay tuned for the full video series coming to TikTok and IG @WeWantMoshiachNow.

Shoutout to Mega Glatt Mart, Hashpaa, The LA Jewish Home, and Mr. Shiloh’s for making it all possible. Of course, huge thanks to Michel and Mendel for joining the gang this week for such a wild ride.

Last but not least, thank YOU, the Farbreng Gang readers, for always showing your support when I see you around town, and for reading along with all of our wacky hijinks. I wouldn’t have eaten my best meal in the last 5 years without you! Until next time, I think that’s a review.

David Greenberg is a music industry professional, songwriter, and content creator.

You can follow him @WeWantMoshiachNow on TikTok, IG, and YouTube.

Hear his kosher pop music at soundcloud.com/WeWantMoshiachNow.

For all inquiries: WeWantMoshiachNow@thelajewishhome.com