Farbreng With the Kosher Gang: A Sugar Rush Before The Shofar Blasts

We Hope Your New Year Is as Sweet as This Article.

Photography by Jared Kahn

Lamalo has the best chocolate chip cookie in LA. Just in case you’re someone who only reads one line of this article, I needed you to know that.

Seriously though, the food went crazy this week.

Super excited to get into that, but first I got some Farbreng Gang updates for you.

First, I went back to Simcha House for the wedding I told you about. The food is actually bussin’, y’all, that’s confirmed. My 90 out of 100 still stands.

Our next official order of business?

I messed up.

Last week I said the wrong score for Mr. Shiloh’s intro, and some of our readers noticed it right away. If you remember a few articles ago, I gave Mr. Shiloh’s my highest score ever: 99.2. Then last week I made a callback and said a different number by accident.

So today I want to set the record straight.

My TOP 3 Restaurants in LA as of right now:

1. Mr. Shiloh’s – 99.2

2. Beverly Hills Thai – 97

3. Lenny’s Casita – 97

Finally, now that that’s cleared up, imagine you were a food reviewer. You eat food and you give it a score. You have a list of restaurants in front of you. There are some really good restaurants and some less good ones. Every week you pick one restaurant to go and try.

Would you pick the best restaurants, or the other ones?

Our scores have been really high lately, so I think it’s fair that readers I see on the street have been asking me: “Can this food actually be this good?”

I’m not pulling your leg. This food is straight petrol. It’s truly my pleasure to give you guys my honest opinion on it.

This week’s food is no exception. Since it’s the High Holiday issue, you know I had to give you a high score review this week.

Joined again by my friend, and talented photographer, Jared Kahn. Jared, what’s up brother?

“Whatsup man? BH!”

Well, before we eat, I just want to wish every one of our Farbreng Gang readers a happy and healthy New Year. Have a blessed and uplifting holiday!

Without further ado:

We’re doing a deep dive at Lamalo this week, and my mouth is watering. So, let’s not waste any more time! Let’s get into the food.

Yes. Really, the best chocolate chip cookie in LA. Period.

Lamalo, located at 8837 W. Pico Blvd., has a proprietary blend of cheese. A proprietary Cholov Yisroel cheese blend, you read it right the first time.

“The cheese is proprietary. What does that mean?”

It means you gotta come here and eat this, Jared. They’re smart businesspeople over here.

A lot of people assume Lamalo is just Mensch in Pico, but what it really is? A culinary journey of elevated comfort foods from around the world, curated and carefully crafted by executive chef Joel.

Back to the cheese, that proprietary blend is found on the boureka sandwich. Top it with some of the house-made chili relish. Take a bite and your taste buds light up instantly. Your brain is firing off: cheesy, spicy, light, airy, and packed with flavor. The pastry is flaky, expertly made. The seasoning is fire flame, greeting you like a warm hug.

I will be coming back for this sandwich straight off the jump. The fact that I can’t get this cheese anywhere else makes it a must. Jared, how do you like it?

“Straight from the shuk! This boureka is banging. The cheese makes it next level. It’s so flaky! You didn’t even put it down!”

Yeah, I wolfed it down. Lol. Usually, if we’re eating so much, I don’t finish everything on my plate. I take it to go. This was too good not to finish though.

The same was definitely true about the croissant egg sandwich as well. The circle croissant is a work of art, and you can’t buy it unless it’s filled with eggs, cheese, and avocado mash. Which is absolutely 100% fine by me.

“Bro. That is the best egg sandwich I’ve ever had in my life.”

The best you’ve ever had in your life?!

“If we were rating this as the best egg sandwiches, I would give this a 9.5 out of 10. This is so good!”

Woah.

It is so light, the eggs are incredibly fluffy. No doubt about it. This is a masterpiece.

That sauce is incredible. You know what I like about it most? There are plenty of places that make a “chipotle aioli” that’s basically just smoky pink mayo. This is spicy, it has a kick, you can taste the chipotle. There’s depth to the flavor, it has layers, it’s nuanced.

The mac and cheese also had layers of flavor and a variety of textures that made it clear chef Joel was guiding us on a food adventure. He told us every dish is inspired by his life and the places he’s lived, like Israel and New York City with the bourekas and egg sandwich respectively. Now here he was again showing us the ultimate comfort food crafted in a way that felt again personal.

Everything is also very clearly elevated. It starts to feel normal that everything is so well executed that it becomes an expectation that everything is going to be next level gas nearly immediately.

Dairy restaurants like this aren’t even a thing? Who’s doing this type of food in this way on the kosher scene?

Lamalo is their own competition. Crazy.

Jared, are you a big mac and cheese guy?

“Has anyone ever told you: I don’t like mac and cheese?”

Only a crazy person would say that.

We’re both Baal Teshuvas. Did you grow up with Kraft or what?

“I grew up with Kraft. They have a kosher version, Wacky Mac, but I think Kraft is kind of like the GOAT of boxed mac and cheese. But this isn’t boxed.”

Yeah, I loved Kraft before I was kosher, and when I became kosher, I started making my own mac and cheese from scratch. That’s a lot of work though, and I don’t do dairy in my new apartment, so I never have mac and cheese. This is a treat for me.

It’s cheesy, in the right way. This cheese blend isn’t proprietary, and the gruyere and Vermont cheddar really come through nicely. The breadcrumb topping gives it a nice texture change.

“It’s like a really good cheesy pasta!”

It was literally everything I wanted in a mac and cheese.

The next item chef Joel says they sell out of regularly. Apparently, some people come in for breakfast and then again for lunch to get Lamalo’s miso salmon bowl.

Eating all this fire food once a week, I tend to have mostly healthy options every other day to balance things out. Fish bowls are a big part of my diet. So, I mean it when I say that I understand why some people would order this twice a day and it isn’t that crazy.

There are so few truly healthy meal options available to order in a pinch besides salads and sushi. This salmon bowl is all whole, natural ingredients just like everything else on the menu. Lamalo never fries their food, and they never use any seed oils. Some of their stuff just happens to be on the richer side of the spectrum, so the salmon bowl is a natural standout as being a real clean-eating option.

Secretly they’re kind of the perfect place for all you clean eaters: a salmon bowl, a smoothie with an added scoop of protein powder, and the occasional cheat-day cookie which is to die for. We’re getting to that cookie, but first we have more food to eat!

We have shakshuka, which readers might remember from a few weeks ago; I absolutely love.

“The more authentic the shakshuka it is, the more of a chance I end up not liking it because I only like tomato sauce on pizza.”

It’s so flavorful. They aren’t shy about their seasoning here. Sometimes shakshuka can taste just like a can of tomatoes cooked down. With this you take a bite, and the freshness is the first thing you sense. Then immediately it’s the fragrant seasoning that makes you pause to appreciate how well-balanced it all is. The focaccia is fluffy, and the egg is cooked perfectly. It’s running.

“Well tell it to slow down.”

Lol. Seriously though, it may not be for you but I’m about to smash this. Jared, while I do that, we have this Israeli-inspired salad and I’m not much of a salad guy...

“Am I gonna be the salad guy? Okay. I love salad. This has a nice consistency, a good chop. I love a tachina dressing. This is good stuff. So do you not eat salad on Shabbos or what?”

I almost never eat salad. I eat like two salads on this earth. I’ve just never been a salad guy. I think salad is a conspiracy, but that’s another story for another time.

I tried this salad and I had the best possible reaction I could have. I was simply able to eat it without cringing. It was not bad.

Finally, though, let’s eat some desserts. The dessert at Lamalo is where it’s at. Chef Joel told us eventually they hope to be open evenings and Motzei Shabbos. A dessert run here on Saturday would be so epic.

We started off dessert with the pistachio cream croissant. Omg it was gan eden on my tongue. The cream was decadent, so mouthwateringly delicious. It was like Frank’s Red Hot in that I would put that stuff on everything. I would buy it by the gallon.

“Woah. It’s like a Jewish cannoli!”

That’s kind of what it is! I love cannoli too but it’s not easy to find kosher ones in LA.

“I asked chef Joel how many people come in on erev Shabbos just for this. He said they sell out every Friday. Can you imagine this for breakfast on Saturday morning?”

That sounds like the breakfast of royalty. I usually slam a protein shake and hit that shoelace express to shul.

Next chef Joel brought us the hazelnut cream croissant, which he said was inspired by a Kinder Bueno. For all our fellow Cholov Yisroel keepers, I heard they have them for us in Israel? I haven’t had a Kinder Bueno in a long time, but it has a fire hazelnut cream.

This croissant elevates it to another league. It’s not even a contest. This is an homage that doesn’t just nod its head, it stomps its feet on the ground and claims its rightful place as the alpha.

“It’s like a Nutella croissant on steroids. The cream is so rich. Sheesh. This thing is so good!”

This is one of my favorite desserts in town. Basically, if you bring people here, they will love you. Have a big meeting? Go to Lamalo. Shidduch date? Go to Lamalo. Anytime you want someone to really like you, take them to Lamalo.

The three-layered chocolate mousse, inspired by an Israeli Milky pudding, again elevates a basic pantry item to gourmet levels. Growing up in Queens, around a large Italian community, cream desserts and mousses were a regular thing for me.

This mousse tasted artisanal. Layered with care, perfectly crafted. You scoop into it with your spoon and glide straight through the chocolate cake bottom. The minute it hits your tastebuds you’re grinning like an Israeli kid on a hot afternoon at recess eating a pudding cup. Instantly you realize that’s what chef Joel set out to do and you appreciate it even more because it’s not a pudding cup. It’s infinitely better than any pudding cup would ever be, but still the nod and wink it gives you gets you like the most effortless and expertly performed sleight of hand trick.

It’s called the Chocolate Dream, and I think I’ll be dreaming of it because it’s that real dairy mousse. Not the parve stuff we get at a lot of other places in town.

“It’s so light, I like the way it jiggles. It’s so good! So rich! I’m full but I’m still eating this, and you basically cleared all your plates, I don’t even know how.”

Yeah, Lamalo is so good, I just couldn’t not clean these plates. Every dish is a standout in its own way.

Just as we thought we were done, chef Joel brought out one more thing like he was Steve Jobs announcing the iPhone back in 2007. He called it the Babka Dream and warned us that he considers this an only-once-a-month thing at most.

When we saw the cross-section, we understood. It’s a chocolate babka, covered in chocolate, filled with Boston cream. Dunkin’ Donuts who? Yet again chef Joel takes something nostalgic and drenches it in prestige.

This was so good words cannot express the decadence. He is right though, more than 12 of these per year and who knows what could happen. Your blood might become Boston cream.

“This thing is so good. I don’t eat like this. I eat healthy, but I keep going in for more bites of this! It’s insane.”

Yeah, this thing is wild. Be careful with this one.

Naturally we saved the best for last. The brown butter miso chocolate chip cookie. In my opinion, the best chocolate chip cookie in LA. Before I became religious, I would still make social media videos. Once I ranked the top 10 chocolate chip cookies in NYC. This easily sits among the top three of those without a doubt. It may even be better.

As a cookie this to me is a 100 out of 100 chocolate chip cookies. It’s salty, sweet, soft, chewy, crispy, chocolatey. It’s the Superman of cookies because it does it all.

“Yeah, this is a good cookie. I grew up in Florida. I rate every cookie against a Publix cookie. This is so much better than a Publix cookie, and Publix made the best cookies. This is so much better than that.”

That’s kind of the theme of the day. Chef Joel takes all these things that we know and love and makes them better. He elevates the mundanity of these foods with kavod, and the result is a matrimony of flavors rooted in kedusha.

What are you thinking for a score, Jared?

“Well, I told you, the egg sandwich was the best I ever had in my life. That’s a 9.5 out of 10. It’s hard to rate the whole picture because each thing deserves its own stand-alone rating. I think I would rate the overall restaurant an 8.5 out of 10.”

Wow! That’s a great score. I think I’m going to go considerably higher though and I’ll tell you why. Uniqueness. Where else can I get such elevated dairy food in LA? This is the height of high-end kosher dairy. Everything has chef Joel’s special touch that makes it feel even more special and specific to Lamalo. For that reason, and the fact that their cookie is something I’ll fantasize about daily, I’m giving Lamalo a 96 out of 100.

When you are the leader of your category and you do something no one else can offer, I think it’s well deserved that you get a very high score.

Lamalo is one of those restaurants I cannot recommend to you enough.

If you’re lacking sweets or you get sick of fleish this holiday season, you know where to go!

Lamalo

@JaredKahnPhotography Hot Take: 8.5 out of 10

@WeWantMoshiachNow Official Score: 96 out of 100

This was one of my favorite dining experiences we’ve had. I’ve been saying that a lot recently, but it’s the truth and I wouldn’t lie to you. I hope everyone has a sweet new year. Shana Tova! K’siva V’chasima Tova! If you see me dancing in the streets, come say hi. I always love to greet our Farbreng Gang readers. Shout out to the talented Jared Kahn for snapping all these fire food flicks for us. Jared’s available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and all simchas, so get in touch with him @JaredKahnPhotography. Alright gang, we’ll see you all in 5786. Until next time, I think that’s a review.

David Greenberg is a music industry professional, songwriter, and content creator.

You can follow him @WeWantMoshiachNow on TikTok, IG, and YouTube.

Hear his kosher pop music at soundcloud.com/WeWantMoshiachNow.

For all inquiries: WeWantMoshiachNow@thelajewishhome.com