Shalom Bayit: 🍫

“I’m done with chocolate!  That’s it!  I’m not going to even get close to it - EVER!” your wife cries exasperated throwing her hands in the air.

  You either shrug your shoulders, or talk with her about chocolate. 

The Sages teach that, based on the Torah in the portion of מטות, when a husband can annul his wife's vow such as the one here, but fails to do so, he commits a grave sin.Why is that a sin? 

It appears that your wife tried to wean herself off chocolate (again). 

The answer is given through an allegory. 

Your wife sounded the fire alarm, and rather than addressing the fire, you tried changing the fire alarm device.“What alarm?” you’re asking “she was talking about chocolate?!”  

When your wife cries out in frustration, you need to consider not only the content of her words, but also the intensity, the exasperation, the hands flailing in the air.  Your wife was asking for love in an unloving way.

“I understand that something bothers you.  I’m here to help.   What’s on your mind?”.  

Here’s the formula again:

“I understand that something bothers you.  I’m here to help.   What’s on your mind?”  

Shalom Bayit.